I walked through the door and up the brief staircase to a regal man on my right greeting everyone as they walked in. I extended my hand and said, “How are you, Sir? I am Cazzie.” He took my hand and pulled me into a hug. He said “Oh, Cazzie. I’m Scotty.” Scotty, Lubabat’s husband. He said thanked me for coming. We had a brief conversation in which he said, “Lubabat always said that that 12th grade year was one of the best years of her life.” I don’t remember all else that was said, but I remember looking over his shoulder at a young man slightly taller than me with Lubabat’s cheeks. Sylvian, her son. He stood tall, quiet and strong.
Gislene, my sister Gigi, and I went into the chapel and listened to Louie Armstrong playing in the background. The chapel was bright, sunny and filled with hues of peaches and cream. A visual metaphor that, indeed, everything would okay. At the center of the chapel was picture of Lubabat in her wedding gown. What a beautiful bride! That Lubabat smile that showcased those Lubabat cheeks invoked a sense of comfort but also a sense of longing to want to see them again in person.
The video screen had a beautiful picture of Lubabat in a blue dress with that great smile, again. As the service was set to begin, the music began. The first note of Angela Winbush’s “Your Smile” started and so did my tears.
When in your eyes shine pictures of
a time for us. Lubabat’s mother, Deloris entered the room. I still haven’t managed not to get angry when I think of a mother losing her child.
I melt with love
When your lips kiss, silent words
Move the earth and shake my world. Scotty and Sylvian walked down the center aisle. The strength in each of their steps was amazing to behold.
But nothin' means as much (Your smile)
Nothin' seems to touch (Your smile)
Your smile (Your smile)
Oh, if anything I miss (Your smile)
Never could resist (Your smile)
Your smile. Lip biting tears that left no track marks thanks to the brilliance of water-proof mascara.
The Director of the funeral home was the first to speak. He welcomed us and assured us that this was going to be a celebration. He instructed us to be happy in our thoughts and to hold back our tears. Already I had failed to follow instructions. Thankfully, Scotty began to guide the celebration and gave us all permission to cry, as long as they were tears of joy. I cannot honestly say that each tear was a tear of joy, but I was relieved to know that my tears were welcomed…as Gigi moved the box of tissue from her side of the bench to tiny space that separated us from each other.
Scotty. How do I even find the words to explain Cowinton Scotland aka Scotty? He led us through a beautiful tribute through the life of his wife, his love, our friend, Lubabat. He openly joked about how he would one day see Lubabat again and shake his fist at her for making him wear a suit. He laughed at how she will look down at him from heaven and call him “silly” if he got overwhelmed with emotion. He choked back tears and words as he tried to describe his wife’s love for their son. The greatest comfort I found, was in Scotty’s love for Lubabat. It brought me great joy to know that in her lifetime, Lubabat, a woman so filled with love, was on the receiving end of a love as powerful and strong as her own. A love that she deserved.
He shared stories of how Lubabat would get him to hand out lollipops, stickers and treats to random people wherever they went. He spoke of this transformation from slight resistance to the point where he wouldn’t leave the house without a stash of Lubabat’s smiley faces to distribute throughout the day. Lubabat’s loving and giving heart was infectious. He spoke of how she would not leave Publix, their local grocery store, without placing quarters in each of the gumball machines so that a child could be granted a treat that would solicit a smile. He spoke of her dreams for making the world better and her actions that actually did.
Scotty led us through a video tribute to Lubabat. It started with Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds.” I found myself relying on the lyrics to guide me through the visual. It was a display of wonderful pictures of Lubabat, at various stages of her life. As a picture of Lubabat appeared as a little girl playing with what looked like a pot about the size you use for spaghetti, I heard the agony of her mother’s cry and turned to see her folded over in tears. I watched Lubabat’s brother hug his mother and woman who looked a lot a like Lubabat walk forward and hug Delores Alabi. The next song was Stevie Wonder’s “Smile Please”. That was an immediate comfort for me as I had been playing it daily since hearing of Lubabat’s transition to the eternal world of peace. As various pictures appeared, Scotty would comment and make us laugh. He assured us that he received permission for Sylvian to show a picture of him as a baby walking around in diapers. He walked us through his various stages of weight gain during his 20 years as Lubabat’s love. Stevie Wonder’s “These Three Words” was next. I was pushed back into the upright 90 degree angle of my pew when the picture of what seems like a 2 foot diameter circle with a 1 foot height of the most beautiful mound of dreadlocks and hair piled on the floor. Lubabat choose not to wait for or agonize over the inevitable hair loss that would come with chemotherapy. She removed all her hair. The following picture was of Lubabat with no hair, holding a picture of a heart…smiling with those cheeks inviting you to do the same.
Lubabat’s friend Audra spoke next. She shared a story that touched me deeply. Audra’s 8 week old daughter had passed away and Lubabat read about it in the newspaper. Without knowing Audra, Lubabat found a way to contact her via email and sent her a letter. In the correspondence, Lubabat offered to make memorial pins from photographs of the baby for the family to wear. Audra accepted the gift and forwarded pictures of her daughter to Lubabat, a stranger. Lubabat, made about a dozen assorted pins and left them on Audra’s doorstep on a Friday. The same Friday that Audra received the pins, she and her family proudly wore them to synagogue for service. After service, Audra and her family stopped at Publix to pick up cat food. As she was in the aisle, she heard and saw a boy pointing and yelling her way “Mommy, she’s wearing our pins. She’s wearing the pins we just made.” Sylvian had spotted the pins that his mother had made for Audra in honor of her daughter. They were strangers no more. Dear friends evermore. Divine intervention.
The last to speak was Jibrail, Lubabat’s older brother and MBHS graduate, Class of ’86. He walked us down his memory lane of being the protector of the little sister. The little sister that did what little sisters were created to do, get on their big brother’s nerves! He too brought joy to the ceremony. He spoke honorably of having to hand over the reigns of caring and protecting for his little sister to her husband Scotty. He called Scotty “his brother and a true man”. He said, “As we look through the window of humanity, we have the option of taking or serving. My sister was about service and serving humanity.” I can still hear and see him as he spoke those words in tribute to the woman Lubabat was while here on earth.
Scotty returned to the pulpit and informed us that it was extremely important to Lubabat to be respectful of each individual’s spiritual and religious beliefs. To honor her, Scotty called for a moment of silence, for each of us to call on our spiritual strength in the manner in which we were most comfortable. The service closed, with Scotty inviting us to listen to Lubabat’s favorite song by her favorite artist. Micheal Jackson’s rendition of Smile.
By the end of the service, I had only 10 minutes left before I needed to head to the airport to return home. I went into the reception area to give my condolences to Lubabat’s mother. She spoke of the difficulty of having to start “my life without my daughter.” As I spoke to her, she asked me how did I know Lubabat. I told her that I graduated from Bergtraum with Lubabat and that my classmates all loved Lubabat and wished they could have been part of this celebration of her life. She looked a bit shocked and asked, “You came all the way here?” I said “Yes, Ma’am.” She immediately pulled me in and hugged me. She said “Thank you” three times straight in my right ear as she embraced me. Then, she something that sealed the fate that I would indeed leave the service with a smile, as per the mission of our sister Lubabat. She said to me “Do you know anything about that music thing they sent her. A whole bunch of them got together and dedicated songs to her. Oh she loved that music. That’s where we got the music for today from.” All I could do was smile and say “Yes, Ma’am. I know about it.” I hugged her once more.
I jumped into the passenger side of Gigi’s truck and my sweet sister got me to the airport in the knick of time…only after she yelled at me and insisted that I switch my heels to flats so I could navigate through the airport in a hurry with ease. I made my flight and I smiled. I will continue to smile and find way to keep Lubabat’s legacy alive.
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile...
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
Wow! Lovely wish I was as brave to be open...just stop by to show love..I be back in NY for Xmas you are just a train away!! take care my sista and stay bless as you are..
ReplyDelete