Thursday, October 13, 2011

From "40" to "INTO MY 40s"

I've been doing this 40 thing for 11 months now.  If wisdom is truly represented by gray hairs than I am slowly becoming quite the sage.  Allow me to share 40 pieces of my wisdom. Agh, the caveat, I am a Scorpio...most of the wisdom shared will be purely introspective and relative to MY 40 year journey and not a universal truth. In no particular order and no editing. Let's go:

1. Natural childbirth is for the birds.
2. Never smell clothes left on the floor of your son's room to see if they are clean or dirty. In the best interest of your nasal cavity and lungs, just assume it's dirty.
3. It all boils down to Love or Anger. I feel all emotions deeply. However, I am only capable of expressing two emotions comfortably: Love and Anger. All other emotions must be transformed into one of those two in order for me to express them. Prime and actual example: My best friend is rushed to the emergency room. As soon as I am able to speak to him, I am on a tirade of expletives scolding him for getting sick. My toolbox is not equip to properly show fear, frustration, disappointment, blah, blah, blah. Love or Anger. Period. (Yeah, yeah...I'm working on that. Catch me at 50 years old and I'll let you know if I made progress.)
4. If you ask Mr. Softy to put sprinkles in the bottom of the cone before he adds the ice-cream as well as on'll never run out of them.
5. Being lied to deeply offends me.
6. When I get to the point when I am about to explode if I don't express what's on my mind, is the same exact moment that I need to stay quiet.
7. Summer is made for dresses.
8. Every woman with freckles deserves to have each one kissed and counted.
9. I am a concrete child, but at least once a year, I must be near sea and sand outside of my local area.
10. If I love a book, I will hate the movie. Never fails.  As dear friend explained it this way: When I read the book, I am the producer. When I watch the movie, someone else is the producer. I am left to witness their interpretation and they never get the damn thing right!
11. Beautiful penmanship is artistry and plain ol' sexy.
12. I love deeply.
13. Never hold an infant while your son scores a touchdown.
14. Don't confuse a compliment for flirting. They are two different things.
15. Worse things have happened to better people. Be thankful. Trust me, there is something in the midst of the madness to be thankful for.
16. If you can afford to spend a portion of your career at home with your children and can only do it once, do it when they are pre/teens. As infants, we need to be around them more than they need to be around us. Let's face it, my sons have no recollection of who feed them, sang to them or rocked them. As teenagers,  it's us versus friends and pop-culture. We need to be there to answer questions, provide clarity, show examples, and listen! It's one of our last chances to make an everyday meaningful impact before they are off on their own.
17. Regardless of team or group affiliation, grown men should never wear red pants.
18. In all relationships, know your non-negotiables and protect them.
19. Judgment based giving is an insult to the Creator.
20. Thread count matters.
21. Practice makes perfect is a damn lie.
22. If you teach your sons that mixed-matched socks are a sign of creativity, you will drastically cut the time you spend doing laundry.
23. Have a family motto, a family song and a secret code.
24. No matter how many times God tries to tell me something through his/her beautiful whispers or gently nudges, I don't get it till she/he hits me over the head with a brick. The good news, The Creator will never stop delivering the message. How long we wait to receive it is up to us.
25. Nutella from Paris is the best in the world.
26. Make your home your sanctuary.
27. Have an intimate private relationship with the arts. I need to be surrounded by visual art, live music and the theatre.
28. Cancer sucks.
29. Children singing, expressions of love and the witnessing of goals achieved make me cry.
30. I love me some Aquarius, but they are so bad for me. I'm addicted to Cancer men, yet Cancer women are way too much for me to bare. I understand Pisces but their vanity/insecurity issues irk me. Libras frustrate me, but boy are they fun to be around. I can spend all my days and nights with a Sag  and they make up the bulk of my ride-or-die girlfriends. I admire the strength and integrity of Capricorns, Aries and Taureans. Geminis are the worst drivers. I think I need a Leo in my life.
31. Never lie to your children. Betrayal by a parent is a vicious hurt and I believe, the hardest pain to recover from.
32. Vacationing by myself is a necessary for my well-being.
33. Critical thinking is critical.
34. Have a theme song.
35. Everything ain't for everybody.
36. Have a source of wisdom and inspiration in someone older and someone younger.
37. Apologize, mean it and never do it again.
38. Be spontaneous. Some of my greatest adventures came without planning or notice: skydiving and cliff diving, as example. Oh and for the record, hot air ballooning is not an adrenaline rush. Floating in the sky in a wicker basket with flames shooting out the middle was not the thrill I was looking for.
39. Have a least one hobby.
40. Never treat crazy like it's sane.


  1. you are amazing. earlier this year, a friend of mine asked me to give her 40 pieces of wisdom for her 40th birthday and i quickly realized i have no wisdom. i ended up writing things down people said, like:
    "Rosemary on anything is delicious." --Ellen Solomon
    "People who dance when there is no music are crazy."
    -Radha, age 7
    It was SAD. but your list is funny, smart, and wise. even though i am a pisces, you will always be my girl...

  2. Thanks, Sis!! Please tell Radha that Ms. Cazzie is crazy by her definition. Thanks for reading! Love to love you!!

  3. I continue to claim you as one of my sheroes. I need to get started on my list...

  4. I love this and I've bookmarked this page. I do have to say that you left out one critical sign in # 30. So, I'll help-Virgos make the best little sisters. You can torture them and they will still think you're the best thing ever!!! ;-)

  5. could I?!?! Thank you for filling in a very important gap. Considering 2 of the 8 eyes belong to a Virgo...shame on Me!!!! Love you little sis!